Letter 04

From the Evangelical Magazine once more
July 17, 1760
I am obliged to you for your last kind letter and heartily wish I could answer it with the same humble, savoury and spiritual frame with which you seem to have written it but this what I want, and sometimes fear I never shall attain,to have my pen, my tongue, proclaim aloud the Lord Jesus Christ, the wonders of his dying love and riches of his sovereign grace.
I want more of that poverty of spirit whereby a Christian sees his own sin and misery, and yet hopes in God’s mercy; performs duties, and yet does not trust in them; assigns all his failings to himself, and all his excellencies to Jesus Christ: but why should I multiply particulars?
In all the lives that I have read and they are not a few, I never met with so wanting, and yet so undeserving a creature as myself. The Lord lead me to the fulness of Jesus Christ, not to make use of him as a man does of his deeds, bonds, and other securities for money, which he looks upon, perhaps, once in a long season, to see whether they are safe, and then takes no further thought about them; but I would live upon Jesus Christ as a man does upon his daily bread. I am satisfied that religion will never flourish in my soul till I am enabled so to do for all religion begins in the knowledge of him, thrives by communion with him and is compleated in the enjoyment of him. Christ is the Christian’s All. Sometimes I think I can say as the Church - Isa 26:18 "Yea in the way of thy judgments,etc" but I want to say as she does - Cantic 3:4 "It was but a little that I passed, etc." Yet will I wait God’s time, for that is best, and the longer the mercy is delayed the more welcome will it be when it comes. Besides, we are told the Lord is good to them who wait for him, to the soul which seeketh him. May you know but little of the distresses I sometimes feel and much of the comforts for which I long and wait."

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