Letter to Andrew Fuller 1793

In October, 1793 Beddome wrote to Andrew Fuller. The letter is in the Angus Library. it is quoted in the work and remains of Fuller. He writes

Revd: and dear Sir

The increasing Infirmities of old age being in my 76th: or 77th Year together with some unaccountable and severe Trials I have lately met with have occasion’d such a Depression of Spirits that a Visit from my Christian Friends which us’d to exhilarate will give me little Pleasure as I am persuaded I can afford them none - I make shift being carried in a Sedan to occupy the Pulpit one part of the day & generally speaking feel the least Pain there. On the other part of the Day a Sermon is read and Time spent in Prayer.

I fear least your propos’d Collection would fall greatly short of your Expectation partly because We are behind hand thro’ some unavoidable Expenses partly in that our Auditory lying wide You would have but about half a Congregation. Lastly, because We have few very few open-hearted Persons amongst us - It would perhaps answer much better if put of (sic) to some Sabbath in the Summer When Notice might be previously giv’n - especially as settling Matters with respect to our own Finances is intended at Christmas and this a previous Collection would postpone if not absolutely prevent.

To conclude for I begin to be very much [afraid] I think your Scheme considering the Paucity of well qualified Ministers hath a very unfavourable Aspect with respect to destitute Churches at home, where Charity ought to begin. I had the Pleasure once to see and hear Mr. Carey. It struck me that he was the most suitable Person in the Kingdom, at least who I knew, to supply my Place & make up my great Deficiencees when either disabled or remov’d. A different Plan is form’d and pursued and I fear that the great and good Man tho influenced by the most excellent Motives will meet with a Disappointment. However, God hath his Ends and whoever is disappointed he will not, he cannot be so. My unbelieving Heart is ready to suggest with the Jews of old that the time is not come, the time that the Lord's house should be built. I have said all that my present State of Body and Mind will permit & therefore with sincere Respects to Mrs. Wallis if living & intreating a particular Remembrance in your Prayers I subscribe.

Your affectionate but much afflicted Brother Benj: Beddome

Bourton 10: 2: 1793